Alcoholics don't have denial; Al-Anons do - they pretend the pink elephant is not in the room.
Alcoholics have delusions - they BELIEVE that they won't get burned when they touch the hot stove again. They'd pass a lie detector test because they really believe that "this time...."
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Two rednecks, Bubba and Gator, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba,said. "Lookey thar up ahead, Gator, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin these here beers!!
"Don't worry Bubba" Gator said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat". "What fer?" Asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin okay?" Said Gator. Well, they finished their beers,threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.
"Twelve Steps of How Not to Recover" Presented by Searcy W. when he spoke at the 2000 AA International Convention in Minneapolis. (He became a member of AA in 1946.) Don't take these too seriously!
1) We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.
2) We came to believe there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.
3) We made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn’t understand us at all.
A sponsor and his newcomer were at a meeting when the newcomer suddenly collapsed, went into cardiac arrest and fell to the floor. The paramedics arrived, performed CPR and brought the newcomer back to life. "My GOD!", said the sponsor. "I thought we had lost you". The newcomer looked up and told his sponsor, "I believe I was actually dead for a short time. I saw a bright light and felt myself basking in the light of my higher power. I'm sure it was heaven. It was an amazing experience!"
"What was heaven like?" asked the sponsor. The newcomer smiled and replied, "Well, I got good news, and I got bad news. The good news is that in heaven they have a huge speaker meeting every Thursday night. All the greatest AA speakers that have passed away speak there". "And the bad news?", asked the sponsor. The newcomer looked his sponsor in the eyes and replied, "The bad news is that you're the speaker next week".
My religion is very simple - my religion is kindness
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