I Have An A.A. Dream (2005)

Not just in my group or my town. This dream is for The Planet Earth. And not a dream like an illusion or fantasy. This Dream is Real. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, too. He is the inspiration for my dream. He believed in The Dream with all his being. And, he didn’t have to fight with anyone or anything. He simply took a stand.

People said he was crazy. Friends and family begged him to stop. He often thought of quitting, taking the easier, softer way. He considered it, but felt divinely inspired to keep the dream alive. He even knew he would someday be assassinated for taking his stand, for speaking the truth.

Decades later, his dream lives on, and becomes more of a reality everyday.

I have A Dream: that every single member of Alcoholics Anonymous, worldwide, takes full ownership of our Responsibility Declaration: “I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”

This poses some serious questions. Just what does it mean? How would this be accomplished? What exactly IS “the hand of AA?” And how can I, personally, help to ensure that it will always be there, for every alcoholic? Why should I even consider embarking on such a task?

Excuses and rationalizations immediately rise to the surface: “It’s too big. Not realistic. Can’t be done. Just accept things as they are.”

Granted, it won’t be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is. It will mean taking a stand – speaking the truth – risking looking bad. You will face opposition and strife. So, why do it? Why put yourself out there for ridicule?

Simple. Drunks are dying. They’re dropping like flies. They are going to AA meetings and not finding The Solution. In your city, right now, some will not see tomorrow. There’s no time to waste.

If not Now, then When? If not YOU, then WHO?

STATISTICS

Let’s look at the numbers. AA was born out of a program of action. As soon as the word got out, alcoholics grasped for the solution, got sober and stayed that way. Those who held close to the solution maintained permanent sobriety. The early numbers conservatively report 75% success. Dr. Bob and others kept records reporting around 90% success.

If you’ve studied the history, you know about “the mushrooming process” in the beginning (when meetings were slim to none). The “Discussion Meeting” format was not introduced until 1968, when the rate of world-wide membership was still increasing.

In the 1980’s, that rate began to decline. Overall membership was increasing, but by a smaller amount each successive year. In 1999, AA’s membership actually froze. It remained the same as the previous year, 1998. It was the first year that worldwide membership remained constant.

The very next year, 2000, AA began to shrink. And the trend has continued. This is Reality. Fact. This is the Truth we must face. Our collective Inventory and Amends starts NOW!

Last year, in my city, we estimated less than 2% (based on chip sales, 24hr chip, 1 month, 2 month, etc.). For every 1000 people who came to AA with a desire to stop, only 150 remained to celebrate 3 months sober (15%). Out of those 150, only 15 celebrated one year. That comes to 1.5% success rate, for 1 year of sobriety – 15 out of 1000!

Right off the bat, some will say things like, “Well, things were different back then. Most of our Pioneers were low-bottom drunks. They were a different breed.” But, is that really true? Dr. Bob was a surgeon. AA Number Three was a Lawyer.

Have alcoholics really changed that much in 70 years? Has Alcoholism changed? Has Alcohol changed? Same disease, same program, right? So, what’s changed?

Then others will say, “Oh, but they send any and everybody to AA these days. All kinds of addicts and non-alcoholics, from the courts and treatment centers.” True. But, the fact that they remain is OUR responsibility. Even though I wasn’t personally around AA in the 1970’s, I am here now, and this is MY AA.

And, here lies the crux of the problem. If I put the blame on outside sources, or old-timers no longer around, then where does that leave us? Who should take responsibility? As long as I remain the victim of a situation, I have no power to correct it, right? I didn’t cause it, so I can’t fix it, right?

Take note. Were not talking about a slight variation in statistics. Were talking about a difference of 90% down to 2%. This is significant, drastic, catastrophic and tragic. Bill and Bob are turning in their graves.

TWO CAMPS

In general, AA members fall within two opposing camps (and some in-betweens). One camp says, “There is nothing wrong with AA.” The other camp says, “We have strayed from our roots, the very Program that promises recovery.” If you’re in the first camp, then you will most likely experience some discomfort in reading this.

For the most part, the first camp believes that meeting attendance alone is sufficient to bring about recovery from the disease of alcoholism. They suggest attending 90 meetings in 90 days, changing Playmates, Playthings, and Playgrounds. They tell you to think the drink through, put the plug in the jug, just go to a meeting everyday and don’t drink in between meetings.

Their methods include behavior modification, talk-therapy, group meetings and cognitive techniques. All of these work very well for the hard-drinker (not a real alcoholic). That’s because alcohol was The Problem for these types. They drank heavily, had negative consequences, and quit. The simple removal of that problem resulted in life getting better.

Most hard drinker will naturally fall in the first camp. Working steps is optional for them. The unfortunate one is the real alcoholic who stands in the first camp. These are the disgruntled members of the group. Their ego’s are flaming, they’re always in conflict with someone or something, they are restless, irritable and discontented.

They perpetually live in The Bedevilments (p.52) and wonder why the “program” doesn’t work for them. They go to meetings, but they are always searching for the next church, or the next self-help book, or self-improvement course, or girlfriend, or job, or whatever. I know this because I live it. Finally, I drank.

No one ever explained to them that those Bedevilments are firmly tied to their alcoholism. They don’t know that their unhappiness has a simple solution. They’ve heard about the solution. But, they think it only applies to quitting drinking.

For the second camp, alcohol was never their problem. It was their Solution. Alcohol made life bearable. When alcohol was removed, life got worse – we were sober! Sober in the morning, sober during the day, sober at night. Life without booze was unbearable.

So, now we have a Fellowship comprised of two distinct entities, two paths to “recovery.” Problems arise when one type tries to sponsor the other type. A real alcoholic, who has studied the book, worked the steps and had a spiritual awakening, understands his/her responsibility to diagnose the newcomer (Two-Question Test, p.44).

If the new arrival does not fit the description of an alcoholic, they are guided to the appropriate 12-Step program, or just informed that they can probably quit on their own.

A hard drinker (mistakenly identifying him/herself an alcoholic) will say things like, “You’re in the right place. Just keep coming back.” They do this without ever following the instructions in the book, on how to approach the newcomer.

I believe that these hard drinkers are good people with good intentions. They just don’t know what they do. They came to AA and their lives improved. Things are better with the family, the job, and the legal system. They’ve made close friendships, and enjoy attending meetings.

However, they don’t see how they are killing drunks. All they can do is share how they got sober. If the topic of discussion is Step One or Powerlessness, they say things like, “When I was on Step One …,” or “When I first got here …” – as if they are no longer alcoholic!

Now that they have some sober time, Step One no longer pertains to them. Then, when they see drunks relapse or die, they say things like, “Oh, he just wasn’t ready, wasn’t willing,” or some such nonsense.

HEAR MY PLEA

Please consider that, THEY WERE READY. THEY WERE WILLING. They came to your group in desperation. They admitted they were licked and couldn’t go on living that way. But, they were never guided to the “vital spiritual experience,” the “psychic change” that our book promises, with a few simple steps.

Bill Wilson did most of the steps while lying in a hospital bed, during his first few days of sobriety. Dr. Bob “vigorously” made amends on the same day that he took his last drink. Most of the first 100 members reached the 8th Step in three to seven days. They lived life one day at a time, but they got sober FOR GOOD AND FOR ALL.

“We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago (AA, p.24). So, why would ANYONE suggest 90 meetings before you worked a step? Back in the day, you couldn’t even attend a meeting (if there was one) until AFTER you started your amends. And then, you got to work helping others, right away.

Hard drinkers will say, “Don’t ask anyone for Sponsorship unless they have a year or more.” Real alcoholics say, “Get the guy who’s had a spiritual experience and who carries the message, even if he’s only got one month. He’s the guy you want. He’s the guy who will help save your life.”

THE SAD TRUTH

Real alcoholics who desperately follow the (well meaning) advice of the hard drinker will inevitably relapse and eventually die. “… he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane” (AA, p.24).

And so, try to reveal this truth to the masses and you will be scorned. You will be labeled as a Big Book Thumper, an AA Nazi, the AA Police, or the Taliban. When the truth is revealed to us for the first time, we always resist it.

Remember the first time someone called you an alcoholic? I do. I was appalled. “How dare they!” I fought the idea till it almost killed me.

MORE ABOUT THE SECOND CAMP

Let’s describe the second camp. They’ve studied the Big Book, and they know the History of AA. They worked the steps rapidly, and guide their protégé’s likewise. It is not uncommon to reach the 9th Step within the first week of sobriety. Now, they commence the amends process, carry the message and have a spiritual experience.

The obsession is removed. They live in a state of Recovery. Sanity has been restored. And it stays that way, provided they continue practicing and carrying. They know they’ve had an entire psychic change because they are now on different footing. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS FAIL, WHEN THE PRECISE INTRUCTIONS ARE FOLLOWED CAREFULLY.

Discussion meetings become obsolete because of strong sponsorship. There are no problems to air out in a group. They are being solved through action. Their real problem has been solved. “Lack of power, that was our dilemma (AA, p.45). There’s no need to talk about recovery. There’s only time to DO recovery.

When I’m starving for food, I don’t want to just talk about a steak dinner. I want to eat one! So, that’s what I do. When I’m starving for God, I don’t want to just talk about God. I want to experience God. So, that’s what I do.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

So, what do YOU do? Do you need a meeting? Are you still recovering? Are you restless, irritable, and discontented? Are you experiencing The Bedevilments (p.52) or The Promises (p.83)?

In conclusion, we’ve outlined the problem and the solution (just like the book does). But we must go further and that means action and “more action” (AA, p.76, 85, 88).

My group is on the firing line, carrying the message, working with others every day of the week. In our city, we are seen as freaks because we have no discussion meetings. But, we bring more drunks to sobriety than any other group. That’s not bragging. That’s a fact.

My dream is to bring Recovery back to AA – to all of AA. I don’t want to change the Program one bit. It’s the Fellowship that I am concerned with. I simply want to carry THIS message, not MY message, and leave the results up to God.

In the same way that we inventory and amend our lives, our families, our groups – we need to apply these principles to our entire Fellowship. We have strayed very far from the path. We don’t need Renovation; we need Restoration – not to something “new” but back to something “old.” Something from the past, that worked.

And so, I ask you again: If not Now, then When? If not You, then Who?

In Love and Service,
Bill Ryland

Want to join me in partnership in the realization of this dream, please email bill.ryland@gmail.com. I welcome any suggestions. There are “twos and threes of us” all over the world. I am committed that AA be restored to its original intent, at the global level.

If you’re interested in starting a Big Book Study in your area, there is a good format for download at http://www.ppgaadallas.org/. Feel free to email with any questions.